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Crisis line and counseling
for victims of domestic
violence or sexual assault.
920-452-7640
1-800-499-7640
- As many as 70% of college students admit to having
engaged in sexual activity primarily as a result of
being under the influence of alcohol, or to having
sex they wouldn't have had if they had been sober. - 90% of all campus rapes occur when alcohol has
been used by either the assailant or the victim. - At least one out of five college students abandons safe sex practices
when they're drunk, even if they do protect themselves when they're
sober. - One in twelve college males admit to having committed acts that
meet the legal definition of rape or acquaintance rape. - 55% of female students and 75% of male students involved in
acquaintance rape admit to having been drinking or using drugs
when the incident occurred. - 60% of college women who are infected with STDs, including genital
herpes and AIDS, report that they were under the influence of alcohol
at the time they had intercourse with the infected person.
Witness Services
We assist victims of any
crime (including rape) by
answering questions about
victims’ rights and the legal
process involved, by
preparing victims for what
can be expected if the case
goes to court, by providing
advocacy and support
throughout the court
process.
920-459-3099
Founded in 1984,
Lakeside Clinic has
always specialized in
sexual assault victim and
victimizer services,
including forensic
evaluations.
920-458-9434
INFORMATION AND SUGGESTIONS FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN
- Spend time thinking and discussing the role that you want sex to
play, if any, in your life right now. If past sexual experiences have
been troubling or if you have questions about the role of sex in your
life, you may wish to seek out someone to trust (a friend, relative,
minister, resident advisor, and counselor) and talk out your thoughts
and feelings. - Communicate your expectations clearly, while sober and allow your
date/partner to do the same. - If you believe that you know just what your date/partner really wants,
thinks and feels, even though she/he says the opposite - you are
courting disaster. - Both men and women have the same rights to initiate contact and to
set limits that will be respected. Building a relationship requires two
people working together as equals and mutual agreement as to the
role sex will play in their relationship. - Both men and women sometimes feel pressure to be sexually active.
Think for yourself; as with any serious decision, you are the one who
will have to live with the consequences. - If you use alcohol, use it in moderation. Alcohol and other drugs
decrease inhibitions, lead to impulsive behavior, and interfere with
rational thought. In most reported acquaintance rape cases both the
man and woman have been drinking. - Sexual aggression does happen and can happen to you. If it does,
don’t keep silent. Talk to someone about what happened. There are
people here who care.
INFORMATION AND SUGGESTIONS FOR WOMEN:
- You have the right to set and to reset sexual limits. Your body is your
own, and nobody has the right to force you to do something you don’t
want to do. - Trust your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes women have a “sense”
that something is wrong, yet fail to act on it. If your date makes
comments which display hostility toward women, or insists on
making all the decisions, or seems extremely jealous or possessive,
this person may not be respectful of your right to refuse sex. - Communicate your limits. You need not apologize for the limits you
set. Be firm! If you try not to hurt feelings by hinting in a nice way, your
implied “no” may be ignored. It is okay to be direct and firm with
someone who is sexually pressuring you, even if it causes hurt
feelings. After all, this person is not attending to your feelings. - If you decide you do want to say “No” to your date/partner: Make your
statements clear and audible, maintain direct eye contact and erect
posture, and use facial expressions and gestures to add emphasis. - Educate yourself about men and sex. Many women have been taught
by men to believe that a man can not control himself sexually once he
reaches a “certain point.” This is simply not true. Many women have
also been raised by fathers who do not allow a daughter to say "no."
It is important to learn to say "no" to adult males. - Think twice about going to a man’s room or apartment. Most date
rapes occur on the partner’s turf. Be careful about inviting a man into
your room or apartment. Some men see this as an invitation to
sexual activity. - Until you begin to know a person well, try to arrange double dates or
schedule the first few dates around public activities such as movies,
dinner, concerts, etc. - Heavy petting or removing some of your clothing may confuse your
date about what you are willing to do sexually. When you send
conflicting messages, the situation becomes more difficult for you
and your date/partner to control.
INFORMATION AND SUGGESTIONS FOR MEN:
- Trust that “no” always means “no.” It is NEVER permissible to force
yourself on a partner, even if you believe he/she is leading you on. If
your partner says “no”, respect that person's right to control his/her
own body. Recognize that you must take responsibility for yours. - If you are not absolutely certain that sexual activity is mutually agreed
upon, WAIT. Waiting is always an option. - If you have sex without your partner's consent, you are committing a
crime even if you have had sex with this person previously.
Remember, your partner, like you can decide to change his/her mind
at any time, and you must respect that decision. - Many men in our culture have been taught that the purpose of a date
is to “score” or “get laid,” and that they have somehow failed if a date
doesn’t end in sex. Be alert to such cultural baggage in yourself. It
can interfere with your ability to listen and be responsible to your date’
s limits and wants. - A woman who has had sex with others is not asking to have sex with
you. A woman who wears what you consider to be provocative or
revealing clothing is not asking to be raped. - Spending money on a partner does not entitle you to sex. It is
insulting to expect sexual favors as a “repayment.” - You are committing a criminal sexual assault if you have sex with a
person who is intoxicated, under the influence of other drugs,
unconscious, or otherwise physically helpless or mentally
incapacitated. - The consequences for being convicted of criminal sexual conduct are
very heavy and long lasting. You can go to prison for a long time, you
can be expelled from the University, you can be unable to seek
employment for the rest of your life without having to report to your
prospective employer that you were convicted of rape. - Remember that men also can be victimized sexually. If this should
happen to you, the same laws apply and the same help resources
are available to you that are available for women who have been
victimized.
Stay Aware and Alert! Do not accept drinks from anyone you don't know well
or from anyone you don't trust. Do not leave your drink unattended. If you are
accepting a drink, make sure it is in an unopened container and that you
open it yourself. Do not allow anyone you don't know well to escort you home
if you are under the influence of any substance. Call your friends or family
and ask them to take you home.
Source: http://www.twu.edu/o-sl/counseling/SelfHelp006.html
Sexual Abuse Center offers
cost free services to
survivors of sexual violence
and affected family
members, emotional
security, comfort and safety
through direct services and
medical and legal advocacy
800-418-0270
Toll Free Crisis Line
Incest National Network
Washington, DC
A 24-hour crisis line
regardingsexual assault,
abuse, and incest.
800-656-HOPE
800-656-4673
Again: Healing
from Sexual
Assault
University of Texas
at Austin
Assertiveness
Questionnaire &
Date Rape
Prevention
SUNY at Buffalo
Been Sexually Assaulted
- Get to a safe place.
- Contact someone who can
help you: a friend, the police
(911), or other campus and
community agencies. - Do not shower, drink or eat,
douche, or change your
clothes. These activities
destroy important physical
evidence in the event that you
decide to prosecute the
assailant. - Get medical attention. You
may have hidden injuries and
may want to explore options
for preventing pregnancy or
sexually transmitted
diseases. - Write down everything that
you remember happening,
with as much detail as
possible. This can help with
your own healing process
and in any legal action you
might decide to take.
You are not to blame, even if:
- Your attacker was an
acquaintance, date, friend or
spouse. - You have been sexually
intimate with that person or
with others before. - You were drinking or using
drugs. - You froze and did not or could
not say "no," or were unable
to fight back physically. - You were wearing clothes
that others may see as
seductive.
http://www.twu.edu/osl/counseling/
SelfHelp012.html
- Actual or attempted rape or sexual assault
- Unwanted pressure for sexual favors
- Unwanted deliberate touching, leaning over,
cornering, or pinching - Unwanted sexual looks or gestures
- Unwanted letters, telephone calls, or
materials of a sexual nature - Unwanted pressure for dates
- Unwanted sexual teasing, jokes, remarks,
or questions - Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll,
babe, or honey - Whistling at someone
- Cat calls
- Sexual comments
- Turning work discussions to sexual topics
- Sexual innuendoes or stories
- Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences,
or history - Personal questions about social or sexual
life
- Sexual comments about a person’s clothing,
anatomy, or looks - Kissing sounds, howling, and smacking lips
- Telling lies or spreading rumors about a
person’s personal sex life - Neck massage
- Touching an employee’s clothing, hair, or body
- Giving personal gifts
- Hanging around a person
- Hugging, kissing, patting, or stroking
- Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around
another person - Standing close or brushing up against a
person - Looking a person up and down (elevator eyes)
- Staring at someone
- Sexually suggestive visuals
- Facial expressions, winking, throwing kisses,
or licking lips - Making sexual gestures with hands or through
body movements
